Why Most People Quit?
Most people don’t quit simply because they are lazy.
They quit because what they imagined doesn’t match reality.
At the beginning, everything feels possible. You are motivated, more than you ever have been. You are excited about working hard towards your goal, and you believe that the future is promising. I’m sure you’ve felt this way at some point, perhaps when starting a new project, going to the gym, launching a new business, or even reading a new book you’ve just bought.
But as time goes by, you realize you aren’t seeing results as fast as you expected. Maybe a week has passed, the work you were doing in the first days starts feeling heavier and heavier at every step, more than you ever imagined. And that’s the moment when people check out. They might not stop completely, but over time, their effort fades until they finally realize they are not doing it anymore.
This is the moment when many people check out. They might not stop entirely, but over time, their effort fades until they finally realize they are not doing it anymore. Sometimes it’s not a discipline problem. It’s just a lack of mental preparation, which includes comparison with other people who might be doing it for as long as you are and have gotten better results. Maybe it’s the pressure, either from peers or from the online world.
Why people quit matters, and you should understand it instead of judging them. Most of you may know someone who’s always saying that they are starting this and that, but after a couple of months, they are not doing it anymore.
Recognize the patterns before they repeat in your own life.
What Makes People Give Up So Quickly?
Unrealistic Expectations
As I mentioned, most of the time, people think that they will accomplish their goals just by starting them and working hard for a couple of days. They feel devastated when that’s not what’s happening. The bigger the dream, the greater the effort required. You need to realize that it takes time to build something, even little things take time, imagine a greater thing.
According to an article from Psychology Today, 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions within January.
Similarly, social media rewards fast and flashy results, and that leads people to quit their goals that require patience, just because someone on the Internet said it was easy.
People feel like they are failing, and if something were meant to happen, it would’ve happened already, which is not true at all. If you are in this situation, please remember that everyone is different, focus on your environment and circumstances, because you may be someone who works from a young age while studying, while some other person doesn’t need to work.
Some start the race ahead of others, and we all run different races. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
That person you saw online may be working for years and years and decided to convince the Internet that it’s a quick thing to do.
Every video you see is edited, just for you to see what they want you to see.
Obligation Trap
A review of studies applying Self-Determination Theory (SDT) concludes that a person’s motivation for undertaking a particular activity or project impacts the outcome and how they will feel when carrying it out.
If you work overtime because you feel ‘behind,’ you’ll likely feel resentful. But if you work because you’re excited by the project, you’ll feel energized.”
In contrast, doing that same assignment because you feel enthusiastic and have fun, you are more likely to feel more energetic, creative, and motivated, and continue.
Lack Of Motivation
Giving up can also be associated with numerous factors. According to research on quitting smoking from Addictive Behaviors, it shows that motivation comes from the person themselves, in this case, avoiding more health problems and diseases, or the motivation coming from peer pressure or quick results, predicts whether someone is going to stop smoking.
Even though this study is about smoking, this motivation model applies to almost every area of life.
If you feel you must go to the gym because someone is talking about your body, your motivation will disappear. Over time, you should only prove anything to someone, and that’s you. You must be your own motivation. Go to the gym because you want to change your body for you, not for others.
People will judge you if you do, and people will judge if you don’t.
Fear of Looking Stupid
This is another motive that leads people to quit: the fear of looking stupid, failing, and judgment, the worry that others will mock you, which is tied to self-esteem and our natural desire for social acceptance. I’m sure it happened at least once to all of us.
Simple things like avoiding asking questions or sharing ideas because they might be stupid or dumb, which progresses to a big thing, but in the long run, it will get worse. I’m sure it happened at least once to all of us. Simple things like avoiding asking questions or sharing ideas because they might be stupid or dumb, which progresses to bigger aspects like avoiding trying new skills because you think you will fail.
That also includes the perfectionism, you want everything to be perfect just to avoid embarrassment, and that’s where you need to change.
If you are trying to learn a new language, it’s obvious that the accent and the pronunciation are not going to be perfect, that’s why you are learning and not teaching, every time you master a new word or a new concept is something to be proud of. Be happy with your small achievements because they will lead to bigger ones.
Imagine if you decide to quit the process of learning a new language, all the opportunities you could’ve had, meeting new people, maybe getting a new job, or meeting an investor without the need for a translator. This also applies to everything, do what you want to do, as I said earlier:
People will judge you if you do, and people will judge if you don’t.
Quitting doesn’t mean weakness; depending on what you quit, it can be a very positive choice, as was said during the post. Letting go of what no longer serves you, including the people in your surroundings who don’t believe in you and your dreams, sets space for growth.
The problem is when people, including you and me, decide to quit the things that truly matter, dreams, goals, routines, just because of comparison, fear, pressure, or expectations. Learn how to think for the long term instead of trying to figure it out so quickly. In one of my last posts, I talked about reading a quote that left me thinking, and still does. In case you didn’t read it:
“The cost of quitting is carrying a lifetime of wondering”.
The Difference Between Quitting and Letting Go
Quitting doesn’t mean weakness; depending on what you quit, it can be a very positive choice, as was said during the post. Letting go of what no longer serves you, including the people in your surroundings who don’t believe in you and your dreams, sets space for growth.
The problem is when people, including you and me, decide to quit the things that truly matter, dreams, goals, routines, just because of comparison, fear, pressure, or expectations.
The Long-Term Perspective
We need to learn how to think for the long term instead of trying to figure everything out so quickly. When you feel that urge to walk away, remember the quote that I mentioned in a previous post:
“The cost of quitting is carrying a lifetime of wondering”
Whenever I feel like giving up, I always ask myself a simple question. From now on, I want you to ask yourself that same question.
“What if I don’t quit? Where could I be in 5 years?”
